When Musgrave agrees—against his better judgment—to follow the eccentric Professor Van Bolt into a cemetery at midnight, he expects nothing more than another lecture on “proper vampire‑slaying technique.” What he gets instead is a sarcastic skeleton claiming to be a vampire, a panicked professor sprinting for his life, and himself waking up inside a coffin with sunlight creeping in.
Now trapped between a terrified academic, an offended undead gentleman, and his own rusty pocket knife, Musgrave discovers that the creatures of the night are real… just not at all what he expected.
A comedic romp through classic monster lore, this story blends spooky mayhem with deadpan humour, proving that sometimes the scariest thing in a graveyard is how unprepared you are.
Graveyards are dangerous — especially when the undead have a sense of humour.
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What The-?
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I once met a man from an old land,
who told me of the creatures of the night please understand,
he was a hunter by trade,
before me a bloody wooden stake he laid,
he muttered the blood is the life,
looking at it I wonder why not use a knife,
I asked what he did hunt with a stake,
he said vampires before they wake,
he used the stake I had no doubt,
I said the dead do not go out,
he knew I did not believe
so he did apologize and took his leave.
Tell me why you dragged me to a cemetery at midnight again" I asked professor Van Bolt
"To kill a vampire they rise when the day's gone," the professor said examining his stake.
"Are you serious I told you vampires aren't real" I shouted sitting on a grave I was whittling. a stick with an old rusty pocket knife.
a crypt opened.
"Look out a Vampire" I shouted dropping my stick and putting my knife away.
A skeleton walked out.
"what the-" I cried, "is that supposed to be a vampire honestly"
"I am," said the skeleton offended.
"I can't kill a skeleton with a stake. " The professor said aghast he panicked dropping the stake and running shouting at me "run Musgrave run for your life boy."
"Professor," I said he was gone.
The vampire swooped in to attack me I pulled out my rusty pocket knife.
the Vampire stood as if horrified.
The vampire burst into laughter.
"you are very funny!" it said, "what have I to fear of a knife"
I dropped it. He went in for the kill.
and said "I'll save that one for later"
I fainted.
" where am I?" I asked waking in a box,
"It looks like a coffin! I didn't die,"
I panicked.
I thought someone could save me, and the skeletal vampire was gone.
"Help! help!" I cried and heard in reply the professor scream.
"I bashed on the coffin trying to get out," the lid was loosely on but too heavy to move I saw sunlight.
"I'll let you out," a voice said, and the lid came off. I saw my savior was the vampire he said, "I will take you now!," I screamed.
